The Most Important Things...

The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them--words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to where your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller, but for want of an understanding ear.

~Stephen King~


Microwave Oven Where it Should Be


There is a microwave oven in my bathroom. "Why is there a microwave oven in his bathroom?" is the question that I would assume most of you are asking yourselves right about now. The question that I ask myself when I walk past this appliance of modern convenience is "I wonder why it took me 50 years to realize I need a microwave oven in my bathroom."
There is so much I have learned in my 50 years of life. Being a fan of the game of golf, I think I'll start referring to the first 50 years of my life as "The Front Nine." This is neither original nor unique to me, but I like the sound of it so I shall adopt it as my own. This also assumes that I will live to be 100. In some ways I hope I do. I yearn to see what the next 50 years will bring to modern science, art, technology, and entertainment, just to name a few things that will undergo major transformations. On the other hand, I dread to see what will happen in these and other areas of our everyday lives.

And then there's the fact that I may not be in the best of conditions when I reach 100, if I'm still alive that is. I don't want to be a burden to anyone. I don't want to be scared because I can't remember where I parked my car, or where I live, or my own name. Living to be 100 seems to me to be a double edged sword… either a blessing or a curse. I guess I'll have to wait and see which it is for me, if I ever get there.

But anyway, back to the front nine. I've always told Rebecca that I may or may not be smarter than she is… she really is pretty smart in her own right. I've also told her that I have one thing that she doesn't have and cannot argue with, and that is 28 years more experience than she has. I've seen some incredible things in my life. I've been burned by people I thought were friends, and I've felt love from people I thought had forgotten me, either by will or by time. And I couldn't help but learn a few things along the way.

I learned pretty early not to stick my hand in the fire. That one was easy. It only took once for that lesson to sink into wherever things need to sink to so as not to ever be forgotten. I learned that gravity can hurt. That one probably took a little longer to learn. I know now that crawling across rough concrete with bare knees is not the wisest of things to do with my spare time, but I have moving pictures of a very young me doing that very thing, and not having too much concern about it at the time. I cringe and everyone else in the room groans every time we have "Home Movie Night" and we all see firsthand how I was not to be stopped by such trivial matters as rough concrete against bare knees. I was, after all, a toddler with places to go.

I know that just because something is on regular television doesn't mean that it's good for you. I used to watch Benny Hill's show on public television when I was a kid. That could be pretty racy at times, but nothing like the so-called reality we see on the tube these days. I used to think that if it was really all that bad, it would only be shown on cable or at a movie theater. Maybe it was that way once upon a time, but not today.

Yes, I've learned much in my time on the front nine. Some things I wish I didn't know. You know, the kinds of things that make people cynical or untrusting. I wish I didn't know firsthand how people who profess their love for you can turn around and hurt you and not seem to care. I have to admit that I have done that too, long ago, when I was a lot younger. I guess it's karma. I'm guilty and so I had it coming to me. I don't know, but that makes as much sense as any other reason, I guess.

I'm sure that as technology continues to advance at an ever increasingly alarming rate, there will be wonderful things to experience. I'm almost positive that someday in the not too distant future, we will be able to dine out or go on weeklong vacations without having to leave the comfort of our homes, and while such advances sound exciting and wonderful, they also sound horrible and even boring. Sometimes I feel that all these modern conveniences that we have grown so accustomed to have made us all weak and lazy. I dunno. Maybe I'm just getting a head start on the mindless babbling that I'm sure will take up most of my old age.

But here is one thing I know for sure… I will always have a microwave oven in my bathroom from now on. And why? Because I discovered the art of shaving with a shaving mug, soap, and brush many years ago when I was in the Air Force. The easy way for a guy to shave is to use foam out of a can. One can certainly get a decent enough shave that way. I started using hot tap water to create a warm lather with my shaving brush and mug. Then one day I thought about making the water hotter so I heated some water on the stove to use to create an even hotter lather, and that was better. Then I started using the microwave oven to heat water to the boiling point quickly and use that to shave. The natural progression of the thought process is a wonderful thing to behold, isn't it?

So now I need my microwave oven right there where it should be… in the bathroom. And it only took me 50 years or so to figure that out.

Necessity? Convenience? OCD? I'll leave it up to you to decide.

No comments: