When I was a kid, I used to look forward to Christmas because my 2 sisters and I would always be with our 2 cousins from Dallas. We would eat the huge meal, and open a few presents on Christmas Eve, then it was off to bed where we’d talk to each other through the walls and closed doors, while convincing ourselves that we were trying our hardest to fall asleep so Santa would come. Every year, we would wake up on Christmas morning to find all of the gifts that were left for us during the night.
Invariably, there was always one toy under the tree that was better than all of the other kids toys, one toy that everyone wanted to play with, one toy that was the coolest, or fanciest, or funnest... one toy that eventually would become the subject of much squabbling and bickering. Our parents tried to use such occasions to teach us about sharing. Let someone else play with it for a while. We had other toys after all and we shouldn’t be greedy or selfish. We’ll get our chance to play with it again. Tough lesson for a kid to learn, but one that we carry with us throughout our lives.
My grandfather was like that favorite toy on Christmas morning. Our family had many chances and countless opportunities to enjoy him, and his life, and his passions while he was here on this Earth. In 1993, he died after a lengthy illness, and I came to understand through my own grief that it’s time to share now and we have to let the Angels have their turn with him. I will have another chance to enjoy time with him. As for now however, I have our own other affairs to tend to after all, and life does go on for the rest of us, myself included. I have others that still need my love and attention.
Forget not lest ye be forgotten, but we cannot forsake the loved ones we still have among us.
I hear conversations from time to time (as I'm sure you all have as well) among people discussing how they would like to die, if given a choice. Watch the movie "Grumpy Old Men" and you'll get a small taste of such a discussion. I hadn't really given the subject much thought, until the other day when I read a post from my good friend Ben. You can read it here still swimming with sharks. It's basically about his fear of sharks versus his love of surfing, but it's really well written and you won't be disappointed if you go and read it yourself.
I responded to his post by saying "Jumping into the jaws of "whitey" (Ben's nickname for the great white) wouldn't be my first choice on the "fun things to do" list either, but you know as well as I do that when it's time to go and your number is called, there ain't a whole lot you can do about it... and if it happens while you're doing something that you really love (ahem, surfing), then so much the better."
This really is how I think about the subject at hand, but my response was also a little tongue-in-cheek at the time I wrote it. In the time since however, the thought has stayed with me and I've had time to really think about how I would like to go, if I had any choice in the matter at all.
Dale Earnhardt went doing something he truly loved... racing. Sheri and I were watching that race back in 2001 and were shocked along with the rest of the racing fan community when we learned that he was gone. Many said that he died too young, that he went way before his time, that his death could have been avoided, and other things of that nature, but I wonder.
Amelia Earhart also comes to mind. She also was doing what she loved... in this case, flying.
Indian Larry was a person known in motorcycle circles as much for his made from scratch motorcycles as his antics. He would STAND on his motorcycle at highways speeds. Yes, STAND! Of course, with no helmet. He died, unfortunately, when he fell off his motorcycle doing his famous standing while riding act.
Steve Irwin (The Crocodile Hunter) died in a dreadful accident. Although it's ironic that this particular deadly event was in a most unexpected manner compared to the dangerous situations that he placed himself countless times, his young death wasn't completely unexpected. I've seen him make comments on TV that he was completely in control.
There are those who will say that the idea of "At least they died doing something they loved" is ridiculous, that it would be far better to be alive with the people that care about you than to die performing an insignificant, meaningless, dangerous life-taking act.
Some will say the bottom line is that while Dale, Almelia, Indian Larry and Steve arguably made tremendous steps in pushing their fields forward at least in part by their outrageous acts, it makes one wonder was it worth it? Some will ask if they were your loved one, would you rather have them around for life events, good times and bad times, birthdays and holidays ahead, or would you rather know they died doing what they loved? There's a good point in there... if you believe that life is random and that we really have some say as to when our time on Earth is up. Personally, I don't subscribe to that theory.
Do you ever consider someone who has died while really enjoying life to the fullest and think about how lucky they are to go that way, or is it just me? And is it really luck anyway? I can't help but wonder if God is watching and calls some of His children home at a time when they're the happiest. I don't know if that really happens, but I like to think that God does things like that sometimes.
I know people who have been sick and made to endure a period of discomfort at best, and utter pain and agony at worst, before being called home. I don't pretend to know why God chooses to put good people through this, my grandfather for example, but I do know that there is a purpose, even if we are incapable of understanding that reason at this time. I also know other people who have had a friend or family member go through this before passing through the veil.
When my time is up, I don't want it to be after a long and debilitating disease like my grandfather. That seems a little selfish of me to want that, perhaps more than a little, but if that is what God has planned for me, then that's what I will do. Do I really have a choice? I don't want to be in pain any more than anyone else does. When it's time for me to go, I want to go healthy and happy... but I especially wish that for all of my friends and family. Each and every last one of them.
But here's the thing, and there's really no way around this... all of this thinking about when and where and how is really a moot point, because as I said in my response to my friend Ben, when it's time to go and your number is called, there ain't a whole lot you can do about it. We don't get to choose the time. We don't get to decide how. We don't get to determine where we'll be and what we'll be doing. It's not up to us. All we can really do is prepare and try to be ready.
Not to try to sound morbid or anything, but the day will come for all of us, and when it does for me, I hope that I am ready and willing and will hear the words “Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou has been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy Lord.” Matt. 25:21 For that, I will endure anything God has in store for me, and will try not to complain about the manner of the journey.
But if it happens just after sinking a birdie putt on the 18th green to cap off a particularly satisfying round of golf at the Augusta National Golf Club, then so much the better.
I'm just saying... in case anyone is listening.
Until next time...
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